You’ve been gone for a year now. The longest damn year. Everyday.
I miss you.
I miss being cat-tackled the moment I pick my feet up off of the floor.
If you were here today, I know would be nudging your cranky ass in between me and the keyboard.
Do you remember the time? You and me? I had those Evil Bunny Slippers. You did not like the slippers one bit. It didn’t help when I wore them I’d constantly pick on you. The one night where I decided to record the bunny slippers messing with you, you were pissed. Who would have thought you’d leap across the bed and attack the hand holding the phone?
Do you have any idea how difficult it is to laugh uncontrollably and cry? Don’t. It’s not pretty.
It has still taken time to adjust to your absence. Still on occasion I will see a shadow and think you are there. We adopted Quincy and Riley a few months ago and they’re doing great. Pedro isn’t always thrilled with the kids but there are signs he is slowly coming along. Pedro is Pedro and yeah, I know you are amused at the mere mention of it.
As I write this the time has come. I think back to it all. In the quiet, moments before the veterinarian came to the door, I laid on the floor next to you and struggled to say my goodbyes. It wasn’t fair then and it still isn’t fair now. No one wanted to say goodbye that day. We only wanted you to finally be free of your pain.
We all have found our own ways to keep your memory alive. The girls wanted either a blanket or pillow with pictures of you, I just need to look up from my desk to feel your judgmental glare. Every breath you take I’ll be watching you….indeed.
Oscar, you’ve been gone a year now. Soon it will two, then three then ten or even twenty. No matter the time, it will still be too long.